You Have to Participate: The Lesson I Keep Relearning
Every few years, life circles back and hands me the same lesson with a fresh coat of paint:
If you want something to succeed, you have to participate in it.
It doesn’t matter whether it’s business, relationships, health, or personal goals. Passive hope never outperforms active involvement. And yet, like so many people, I still catch myself trying to buy change instead of becoming the change.
Barry Moltz talks about this in his book Change Masters. He says most small business owners want to purchase transformation. We want to be able to say, “We tried it, it just didn’t work for us.”
It’s a convenient escape hatch.
It lets you join a gym in January and blame the gym in March.
It’s why over 80% of New Year’s resolutions evaporate by spring.
People want the outcome, not the effort.
Relearning the Lesson in Our Car Washes
Recently, I relearned this lesson the hard way in our car washes.
We rolled out a new marketing program, and I convinced myself that automation would handle most of the heavy lifting. I assumed I could set it up, step back, and watch the results roll in.
For seven months, I barely checked on it. I trusted the system. I trusted the process. I trusted that “done” meant “done right.”
But when I finally dug back in, I realized something:
- Most of it was done — but the details weren’t.
- The small touches that define our brand weren’t there.
- The execution was close, but not us.
And those little gaps? They cost me.
Not because the system failed, but because I stopped paying attention. I outsourced the part that required my fingerprints. I tried to buy change instead of participating in it.
That’s the part that stings — and the part that matters.
Why You Can’t Buy Change:
Because the truth is simple:
- You can delegate tasks, but you can’t delegate vision.
- You can automate processes, but you can’t automate care.
- You can buy tools, but you can’t buy engagement.
If you want something to turn out the way you imagine it, you have to stay involved. You have to work at it. You have to put in the effort that makes the change real.
This wasn’t a failure. It was a recalibration. A reminder. A nudge back into the driver’s seat.
And honestly, I’m grateful for it. Because every time this lesson comes back around, I come out sharper, more intentional, and more aware of what my business — and my life — actually need from me.
So as we look toward 2026, don’t just participate in your business—participate in your whole life. Engage with your family with the same intention you bring to your best ideas. Lean into your business relationships. Get close to the vision of your company and the needs of your customers. Pay attention to your health instead of outsourcing it to “someday.” Show up fully in all of it, and then let’s see what happens in 2026.
Participation isn’t optional. It’s the engine
